"For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me."
"Those who can do. Those who can't laugh at those who can do."
"To read makes our speaking English good."
"Can I just mention that detention is a time-honored form of punishment?"
"It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to."
"Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day."
"I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!"
"A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life."
"Come on, Cordelia, if you wanna' be a member of the Scooby gang, you gotta' be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then."
Buffy: "Fine, so he's a good cook. What does that really tell you about a person?" Xander: "Everything."
Ted: "Buffy, do you like miniature golf?" Xander: "Who doesn't?!?!"
"Worrying isn't gonna' solve any problems." (while drug induced!)
More to come!